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Dealing with Your Husband’s Addiction

If your husband is struggling with addiction, you likely go through the full spectrum of emotions on a regular basis. People who suffer from substance use disorders can be incredibly fun, exciting and passionate, with the ability to draw you in. On the other side of the coin, they can be belligerent and irresponsible and engage in risky behavior. They often go through a cycle of saying they’re going to change and falling back into the old routine after a few weeks or months of making an effort.

First, you need to stop thinking you can fix them yourself. Even if you were a qualified health care professional, it wouldn’t be advisable to treat a loved one or someone close to you. Listen to your partner but don’t live your entire life around them, and advise them to seek professional help. When they’re on the road to recovery, be positive about the changes and help them to remember that addiction is a chronic disease.

Listen Carefully and Give Clear, Consistent Advice

Try to get your partner to open up about how they’re feeling and let them know they can speak openly to you without judgment. Substance use disorders are driven by a variety of factors, including genetics and childhood experiences, but repressed fears and feelings are often triggering.

Conduct plenty of research into the mechanisms behind alcohol and drug addiction and share what you’ve learned, but don’t be prescriptive. Explain that professional help is the best method of dealing with addiction, and let him know you’ll be there to support him through the recovery process.

Take Care of Yourself and Pursue Your Own Hobbies

While the above is the best way to help your husband, you mustn’t dedicate your entire life to trying to get him into recovery. Make sure you have a group of friends, hobbies or anything to pass your time 100% away from your husband’s condition. If your entire life is about him, you’re likely to build resentment and risk losing your own identity to his addiction.

Don't Play the Blame Game

dealing with husband's addictionIt’s easy to get into arguments with someone whose mind is addled with substances, but these exchanges are always futile. If you use blame or anger to express yourself, the subject of your irritation is incredibly unlikely to listen to you. This will frustrate you further and make you angrier, and they’ll become defensive and indignant — neither of which is conducive to recovery.

Take a deep breath and count to 10, take some exercise or speak to a friend if they display any provocative behavior. Just don’t engage with it — remain calm and they won’t be able to use your anger as an excuse to use substances.

Avoid Enabling Behavior

Enabling behavior refers to the attempts you might make to solve, fix or make the consequences of your husband’s actions go away. Examples of enabling include:

  • Lying to their employer to cover up an absence
  • Making excuses for their behavior
  • Giving them money
  • Fulfilling their commitments

Addiction is a family disease; it never affects just the individual who suffers from it. If you need help or advice about how to help a loved one, call Recovery Works today at +1-778-430-1212.

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Recovery Works
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Yoga

Yoga – Clients participate in Hatha yoga exercise sessions. It involves the use of postures called asanas. The asanas connect mind, body and breath to gain self-awareness and focus attention inward.

Yoga has several benefits, including:

  • Stress relief
  • Increased physical stamina and strength
  • Self-reflection and increased self-awareness
  • Heightened self-confidence and improved self-image
  • Pain relief
  • Improved sleep
  • Increased energy levels
  • Reduction in fatigue
Trauma Therapy

Trauma Therapy – This is an optional program for those who need and want up to 10-one hour EMDR trauma therapy sessions during their stay at Recovery Works.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences.

EMDR therapy shows that the mind can in fact heal from psychological trauma much as the body recovers from physical trauma.

More than 30 positive controlled outcome studies have been done on EMDR therapy.  There has been so much research on EMDR therapy that it is now recognized as an effective form of treatment for trauma and other disturbing experiences by organizations such as the American Psychiatric Association, the World Health Organization and the Canadian Department of Defense.

The net effect is that clients complete EMDR therapy feeling empowered by the very experiences that once debased them.  Their wounds have not just closed, they have transformed. As a natural outcome of the EMDR therapeutic process, the clients’ thoughts, feelings and behavior are all robust indicators of emotional health and resolution.

Step Work

Step Work – The 12-Step program are an effective tool in changing the way residents view the world and respond to it. This personality change in AA rooms is referred to as a spiritual awakening. Psychologists have long recognized that “step work” is cognitive therapy at it’s best because it’s been proven over and over that the only way to change thinking and our relationship with ourselves and others is through action. We can act our way into better thinking-not the reverse. Each client of the Recovery Works completes at least the first 5 of the 12-Steps. Some complete all 12-Steps.

Satori Chair Sessions

Our Satori wellness system consists of a zero-gravity lounge chair which gently delivers specific vibrational frequencies throughout the body, while you listen to sound and music through headphones. This combination of vibration and acoustics has the effect of guiding your brainwaves toward deep levels of relaxation while you enter a meditative state. This physically balances the body’s natural energy centers, and the deep states of relaxation and meditation result in the rejuvenation of the mind and the body.

The experience has similarities to neuro-feedback in terms of its impact on the mind and body, using a combination of guided imagery and visualization, with vibrational stimulation of the senses.

The U.S. military has used Satori Chair technology to help combat troops returning from war to more quickly rebalance their minds and bodies in order to reduce the likelihood of developing debilitating depression, anxiety and trauma.

Fitness Training

Fitness Training – We view physical fitness as one of the pillars of recovery. That’s why we train twice-weekly at Cross Fit Vic City with instructors that train elite Canadian athletes. Additionally we hike in the forest and on nearby beaches and take advantage of the wide range of recreational opportunities that Victoria has to offer.

Psycho-Education

Psycho-education – A big part of recovery is learning about the disease of addiction to alcohol and other drugs and how to recover –  stay clean and sober. The Recovery Works psycho-education program is an evidence-based therapeutic intervention. Our program includes lectures, videos, guest speakers, reading and written assignments on the disease of addiction and recovery from it.

One on One Counselling

One on One Counselling – Individual counseling is exactly what it sounds like. It is one of our therapists working one on one with a resident. They meet and agree on some goals for their work together. The great thing about Recovery Works’ one on one therapy is the individual is able to have a safe and confidential environment to talk about difficult things and get unbiased, objective feedback and suggestions from our therapists.

Family Program

Family Program – This is an optional program and an additional fee is charged for families that wish to participate (see cost of treatment).

Addiction is called “a family disease” for good reason. Family members are profoundly affected when a loved one becomes addicted to alcohol or another drug.

By the time most families reach out for help and drug treatment, the disease of addiction has typically progressed to a crisis level for the addict and family alike.

Through a variety of educational presentations and activities, Recovery Works’ Family Program provides the whole family the opportunity to begin their own journey of recovery.

Recovery is stronger when all family members understand the nature of drug and alcohol addiction and are involved in the healing process. By educating you about the disease of addiction and the different ways family members are affected—whether parent, child, spouse or partner—our programs and services help you:

  • Work through the chaos you’re experiencing
  • Set healthy boundaries
  • Rebuild trusting relationships
  • Improve communication with one another
Group Therapy

Group Therapy – Group therapy is a form of psychotherapy in which one or more therapists treat a small group of clients together as a group. At Recovery Works we employ psychodynamic group therapy where the group context and group process is used as a mechanism of change by developing, exploring and examining interpersonal relationships within the group.

Alpha Stim Sessions

Alpha Stim Sessions – The Alpha-Stim electrotherapy device treats anxiety, insomnia, and depression. It has no lasting side effects, no risk of addiction and no danger of interaction with medications. Our brains naturally have electrical currents. The Alpha-Stim cranial electrotherapy stimulation (CES) device delivers a natural level of micro-current, via small clips worn on earlobes, through the brain to stimulate and modulate specific groups of nerve cells. The micro-current is tiny, just millionths of an ampere, and so gentle that most people don’t even feel it. The Alpha-Stim waveform, application and protocols result in significant anxiety relief, mood normalization and better sleep (both in quality and duration). Treatments take 20 to 40 minutes and can be completed in bed, while reading or just relaxing.